Thoughts...

I woke up today, and I was thinking about lots of stuff... y'all being in a hotel room alone will totally do that to a person. I got up and I went to hotel gym (way to go DoubleTree on having a decent one). Last night I was annoyed... today at 5:30am... I'm still feeling it. I won't retract that, but I can maybe better explain it. It isn't just the water so much; I think that I lost ground there.

Be fair, I am not a journalist or anything like that. Just expressing thoughts. The feeling is initiated by the response to the thoughts triggered by what I'm seeing. If that makes sense. So it's not just the water challenge that I find bothersome. I mean it's bigger than that. I read A LOT last night, and I'll probably read more tonight. I read about how great this has been for ALS. And it has been they have raised more than two times the amount of money this year, so far, than all of last year. That is amazing. The big picture is raising awareness though, right? Admittedly I did not know much about it prior. I would say it's doing that too. I'm sure that some are doing it for exposure. But I also think it's safe to say that ALS has been googled exponentially more often recently than in years past. So what else did I read...? I read that it is a waste of water... Yeah it is. But my sprinklers run twice a week... same thing. Besides, we have a ton of other things we do that waste more. So what is it...?

I said yesterday that I wasn't sure, and recognized that it's weird to be annoyed.

I don't think it's weird anymore.

Throughout the day I thought about what is really bugging me about this. Is it because people are throwing ice water on the ground... nope. That isn't it, but that is what triggers it. So if you want to keep delving into my brain... here we go.

I think at the base of the feeling, the real root of it, lies in the fact that it gets me to look at myself. My choices, my values, my life. So let's see, when I feel annoyed because of the waste of water, I am forced to reckon with myself about that. I have to look at all the things I choose to do that have the same effect. And I come up short. I come up really short. In an area that stirs me. Hopefully that conveys the message I want it to.

During the pouring over information regarding water sanitation, I discovered just how bad it is.  Just how many people die and get sick because of poor conditions.  Then I think, 'what if they saw that,' and I cringe. And then, figuratively, I pull up to my manicured green lawn, start the washing machine, dishwasher and run a bath.

It's not the intended message, I GET that. It may not be how anyone else in the world feels when they watch the #icebucketchallenge. But that's where it gets me. I know that may not make sense. I don't guess it has to. So what did the challenge teach me... that ALS sucks... really bad!! And water is extremely precious in so many areas and we are incredibly blessed to have access to it. I have learned that I am blind to things until they are thrown into my world sometimes, and I'm not proud of that. I discovered that I have a lot of growing to do and I am completely okay with that.

Maybe that helped see where I am coming from... Maybe not... Either way it helped me figure myself out.

Peace!