Why care...

I am not a lesbian.
I have never had an abortion.
I have never been raped.
I am white.
I am not on government assistance.

So why do I care about LGBT rights?
Why do I care about women's rights?
Why do I care about changing rape culture?
Why do I care about white privilege?
Why do I care about ensuring everyone has access to necessities?

Because saying sexuality is a choice is stupid. Try choosing to not be straight, let me know how that works out.

Because it's my f***ing body. And absolutely no one else has the right to dictate what I do to it. You can not like it all you want, you have that right, but I do not have to do what you say.

Because, again, it's my vagina, breasts, mouth, hands... Etc. What I choose to wear, drink, street to walk down, kiss, dance with, or invite home does not imply that it is OK to take more than is offered. You do not have the right to push me further than I want to go, get over it.

Because it's a thing. No one looks at me weird if I go to the store in bag sweat pants and a hoodie. I have never been asked to exit my car when pulled over. If I have to dig in the glove box for my insurance I don't have a gun pulled on me. I don't worry about racial profiling. It's a thing, if you think it isn't... Go away.

Because if I needed it, I hope someone didn't turn me away. I wouldn't want then to ask how I had nice clothes because we just lost our house and are living in an extended stay hotel because we don't know what else to do right now.  I just want someone to tell me that they will help.

I care because I can't imagine not caring. I didn't always care. I didn't always look for reasons to. I used to be silent.

What does pro-choice mean?

To me?

It means that a woman should have the right to decide what happens to her body.

It means that should she make the choice to proceed with the pregnancy, that I will advocate for her rights to government assistance if she needs it, including access to birth control to prevent future unwanted pregnancies, regardless of where she works.

It means when she is single and 16, and her parents kick her out, I will advocate for free childcare that is safe and educational for her child to attend so that she can finish school and go to college.

It means that if she isn't ready to bring a baby into the world, I will advocate for a safe and clean place for her to end her pregnancy.

It means that I will advocate for her to have a support system after the process to ensure she is recovering fully.

It means that I will never assume that I understand her life. That as close as I can be, there is only one her, and she is not me.

See, I am not pro-abortion. That is my choice.

And that means you have one too.

Merry or Happy whatever it is...

Okay, I've been struggling with this one. How to write it, and if I even should. And I finally decided to just do it.

I keep seeing, "keep the Christ in Christmas" posts, as well as "it's Merry Christmas," both say you to like if you agree. So let's explore this, if you don't want to that's fine, but it bugs me, so I am going to.

So, first of all, it's pretty well accepted that Jesus wasn't born in December (he wasn't white either, if that surprises you). So, why is Christ in Christmas to begin with??

As is custom with me... Here's a link...

http://www.history.com/topics/christmas/history-of-christmas

Or you can google "origin of Christmas," lots of stuff comes up.

Don't get me wrong, I love the season, and I thoroughly enjoy Christmas Eve service, when I can attend. But then again, I like church. I'm a Christian.

I have friends who are not.  I've been to their Chanukah parties, they are amazing cooks. We listened to the story, and when I left, I said Happy Chanukah, and ya know what... Nothing bad happened.

Get this, it isn't instinctual for me to say "happy holidays," many times it's "merry Christmas." Amazingly... (Insert sarcasm)... I haven't had one person get mad...

Ever.

I know people from all walks, I meet more daily. It is rarely about what you are saying and more about how you say it. If I'm initiating conversation, merry Christmas it is, but if someone tells me happy Chanukah, Joyous Kwanzaa or happy Holidays, I would respond in kind.

The holiday season us about celebrating life.

Do that!

What love looks like...

I've been married for 9 years. We've been together for 11. We have a pretty awesome 6 year old. We aren't high school sweethearts. We didn't have sparks fly the first time we met. Our first meeting didn't really go over well. And we had anything but the typical dating life. But, all those things don't define love anyway. Saying and doing everything the way your supposed to isn't the good stuff.

So, what is it? What has kept our marriage strong? What saved us?

Being willing.

Being willing to admit when I'm wrong. Being willing to communicate.
Being willing to learn.
Being willing to forgive.
Being willing to be uncomfortable.

In short, being willing to be a partner. Not just the label of wife or husband.  When we admit that we can be wrong and communicate. We learn the root of the problem and we can forgive even when it is uncomfortable.

So what is love?

Love is in the trenches when it's muddy and it's a war zone.
Love is winter night snuggles. 
Love is the willingness to put in the effort to make a relationship last a lifetime.
Love is smiling at the thought of your partner.
Love is late night emergency room visits.
Love is all the thing you thought it would be... And all the things you never thought.

The hours are long, sometimes you feel like you have no idea how to do it. Sometimes you may want to quit.

Love is worth the work.

Why...

Why?

The question that parents cringe at. (I know I do sometimes)

But, today I was thinking a whole lot of why questions myself. I am lucky enough to have my awesome partner around to listen patiently to me and discuss. So we did...

I wanted to know...

Why everyone doesn't have a home?
Why everyone doesn't have food?
Why are people discriminated against?
Why attending state school means I have $50,000 in debt for a bachelors degree?
Why, why, why....

It occurs to me that when I answer them all, the answer sucks... It sucks so much that I don't think sucks us exactly adequate to describe it.

So here is what I come up with.

Why doesn't everyone have a home?
       Because we as a society have said that you only deserve a home if you have money to buy one. So the people who don't have a home because they don't deserve it? So a human... A mother, father, daughter, son, grandfather, or grandmother doesn't deserve a home... Seriously? 

Why doesn't everyone have food?
       Just insert food for home from the above statement... And again... Seriously?

Why are people discriminated against?
       I seriously thought that we were past that. I don't understand why this is a thing. When did we forget that everyone is created equal.  Or did we just decide that everyone is equal except for the ones that aren't. I totally encourage you to say that out loud if you struggle with that... See how it really sounds.

Why attending state school means I have $50,000 in debt for a bachelors degree?
     That seems trivial in comparison to the other questions, but this is where our conversation today took us. Please explain to me why state school isn't free here. Please explain to me why to further my career I have to accumulate a car and a half worth of debt?

These are questions I would love to have answered, or maybe just have other people's opinions on. Because things need to change and I have no idea how to change them...

Go Big Red... ?

So I read the platform for both of the candidates for governor of Texas today.  Wendy Davis lost that race and I went looking for why. I had read the info before, but I wanted to see if I could see the other side.  If I could get behind Greg Abbott, because he's our governor whether I like it or not. Here's what I gathered. Each section is directly copied from his webpage, I'll give the link at the end.

End ObamaCare:Committed to Fighting and Repealing an Unconstitutional Tax. - Okay, except that there isn't a tax, there is a fine. And if you can't afford it... Well here is a list of exemptions that will most likely cover you... Additionally the fine for not having insurance is substantially less that having it anyway... Go ahead... Read... Here are the links.

https://www.healthcare.gov/fees-exemptions/fee-for-not-being-covered/

https://www.healthcare.gov/fees-exemptions/exemptions-from-the-fee/

https://www.healthcare.gov/fees-exemptions/hardship-exemptions/

Protect 2nd Amendment: Defending our Right to Bear Arms - Seriously, no one is taking the guns. It won't happen. But what should happen is regulation. I sure as hell don't know how, but something needs to change. My child's right to life is much more important that a gun bring sold to just anyone. Because she is precious. Her friends are precious. Her teachers are precious. And there are far too many of our babies dying on schools. I don't think it's all the guns, I think it's mental health first. But access to guns is something to look at.

Defend Traditional Values:Protecting the Texas Values that Define our Communities - Not so much... Let's over reach here dude. I don't have conservative values, so you aren't defending mine. I'm assuming you aren't defending the poor, minorities, or the LGBTQ values either.

Increase Transparency in Government Empowering Texans with Information and Transparency - LOL, whatever, politicians don't do that ever.

Rein in EPA Fighting the Burdensome, Job-Killing Policies of the Obama Administration - Because being environmentally aware is... Bad?

Defend Strong Voter ID Laws Protecting the Integrity of the Election Process - Less than 2 times a year on average. Seriously... Were passing laws because of two votes... Here... Go read...

http://www.politifact.com/texas/statements/2013/sep/13/eddie-bernice-johnson/voter-fraud-occurs-texas-though-convictions-and-gu/

Protect our ChildrenFostering Safety in our Communities - I can support this. But the side note would be that the same issue is on the democratic platform as well.

Safeguard Texas Consumers Protecting Texans from Fraudulent, Deceptive and Illegal Practices - Well good... I kinda thought that was a no brainer...

Defend the 10th Amendment Combating Federal Government Overreach in Texas - Well okay, but no talk if succeeding... That makes you look dumb... Oh wait... Perry did that...

Stop Human TraffickingBringing Traffickers to Justice - That is totally awesome!!!! The democrats want that too!! See you can be friends... Except that you don't like poor, minorities, women, or LGBTQ... So maybe not.

Look, I know where I live, I don't plan on moving. I know my POV is not the majority. But it's mine. I didn't care much before. I care now. I want my daughter to make the same as a man. I want her to be able to marry who she wants to. I want her to be able to go to college without concerns of debt. I want something better for her.

I used to just listen to what the TV said, I used to think they knew better. But then I realized that I can read the whole story. I can watch the full speech. I can decide for myself. I don't just read one side. I explore both. My views of the world have changed. My political alignment has changed. My morals have changed. Debate a topic with someone of opposing views, and do so respectfully. Learn from them and open your mind to things that make you uncomfortable. You'll learn many things. Like pro - choice doesn't always equal pro - abortion. I don't have to like babies being aborted to be an advocate for their right to choose. Being pro - regulation of firearms does not mean I don't think people can't own guns. I listened, learned, and grew.

I encourage you to do the same.

http://www.wendydavistexas.com/issues/
https://www.gregabbott.com/issues/

We Mess Up

We can make a mess of things... With our crazy ideas and insatiable needs. We can focus on the big picture so much that we forget about the individual.

I struggle with that, with feeling that I've been forgotten and with forgetting to remember others. I think we all do. We forget that sometimes someone really needs to just hear "Thank you," or "I appreciate you." I think often we feel lost in the mess and that the only way to be heard is to scream. I know that I do. So we shout and struggle and sometimes people notice, but when they do, it's not the same. When we break, when things aren't all pretty. I've been there... But I still forget, I still mess up.

I also struggle with being the liberal advocate that my life is turning into sometimes. Spreading love and acceptance and berating those who don't seems weird to me. And honestly, I don't mean to be berating, but I bet it seems that way from the other side. I imagine that those I engage in debate with sometimes feel attacked, whether I mean it that way or not. It becomes hard again to separate the two sides. How do you say we should accept everyone without really accepting everyone? I imagine that isn't foreign to others either...

So what's the point? We forget that people are individuals. We forget to say thank you. We forget. We mess up. Now, how do we clean up?