Bullets and Books

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of Sandy Hook.  Yesterday was a stark reminder that our children are not safe anywhere.  I thought about that as my happy go lucky child got out and walked into school.  I thought about how terrified she would be.  I thought about her not having me there.  I thought that I wish I could keep her safe.  I thought about what I would feel.  I couldn't. It makes me tear up just thinking about her being scared.  So as I often do I pulled up some info regarding statistics of school shootings here.  Here is a link to what I found, http://www.k12academics.com/school-shootings/history-school-shootings-united-states#.VnAdCstMFnE

I don't know what to do, but this isn't a new thing.  There are documented shootings in schools from over 100 years ago.  The idea that are children were ever safe in school seems strange after reading this. 

The fear factor

I've seen a post being shared lately... here is a copy Here is what I have to say in response...

Defining Who I Am

Yesterday I read that Donald Trump has called for the US to stop allowing Muslim people to enter our country.  It really can’t be surprising since many of the state governors have already made it known that they will not be accepting refugees into their states.  Even though I’m pretty sure that they can’t actually legally do that.  I’ve struggled with the concept of denying refuge to those in need.  I’ve wondered how a people who have read history can look at the flood of refugees running for their lives and not see the similarities of the Jewish people during the Holocaust.  How do we look at a human being who has left all that they have and say they can’t come here?  How do we tell a parent who’s child did not survive the journey that they have journeyed in vain?  But we are.

How did it come to this?  I’ve heard the arguments, that we need to protect our own, that we don’t know who these people are, that there are terrorists among them.  You know… there are terrorists here now.  You cannot tell who they are by looking at them.  You cannot tell who they are by being members of their family.  You cannot tell who they are… period.  We’ve done far more damage to our own, that has been done to us by the hands of international terrorists.  I’m over those arguments.  I recognize that there is a possible danger.  I recognize there is a danger to me driving a car too.  That doesn’t mean I don’t do it.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t open my arms and say welcome, be at peace here.  If anything it means that I do it more.  I am not one that wishes ill to you and your family.  I am not one who believes that you are a terrible person. I just want you to be safe.  I want to give you the best chance you can have.  I want to give you what I would desperately be searching for if our roles were reversed.  I want to give you a place to lay your head and weep.  I want to give you the time to rest.  I want to give you love.  I understand that it’s hard to hear me.  That the voices of bitter hatred are loud and seemingly many, but they don’t speak for everyone. 

I’ve heard that I’m a bleeding heart, that I haven’t seen what they’ve seen.  I’ve heard I’m too young to understand.  I’m tired of hearing that.  If your heart doesn’t break for families that are torn apart, my heart breaks for you.  I may not have seen what they have seen, but I have witnessed terrible acts.  I’ve watched buildings be destroyed by those who live here and those who don’t.  I’ve watched loved ones come to terms with the death of their family members at the hands of terrorists, those who live here and those who don't.  I’ve felt the fear of letting my child go to school without me to protect her, because elementary school isn't safe anymore.  And regardless of my age, I am old enough to read, to take in history, to look at both sides and make a decision of my own.  I am young but I am not stupid, and their assumption that I am is ridiculous.  I am fully aware of the decision I am making, of the possible consequences.  Who am I to tell those looking for refuge to look elsewhere?  Who am I to turn my backs on the hopeless?  Who am I?

Unheard

I don't think riots are going to solve anything. 

I want that to be clear.  I have tried engaging in conversations with people who don't understand why people are rioting. 

I hear their points on why they are against it.

I want them to hear that I'm against it to.

I desperately want it to end.

I also desperately want them to hear that, while the riots need to stop, there is a reason that they started.  And it is that reason that needs to be discussed and kept at the forefront of our thoughts. If we forget the reason that people have taken to violence, then we are doomed to repeat it over and over and over.

Not so long ago, when the civil rights movement started, the same thing happened.  There were riots in the streets and cities burned.  A subjugated people sat in restaurants and refused to sit in the back of busses. Changes were made and, on paper, things were made equal. There was much more involved, but I'm condensing. 

A long time ago, a nation was split.  Brothers fought against each other.   Over a million people died in those fights. An enslaved population was given freedom.  Changes were made and, on paper, things got better.  There was much more involved, but I'm condensing.

No, the people of today didn't experience the horrors of the civil rights movement. The people of the civil rights movement weren't slaves. It doesn't make the injustices of today any better. It doesn't mean that their fears are invalid. It doesn't mean that they need to be quiet.

As much as I want the violence to stop. It has done as it was intended. We didn't hear them speaking to their city officials, we didn't hear the letters written, we didn't hear their peace.  The nation hears now.  But we heard before as well.  We heard in Florida, Missouri, New York.... But it hasn't changed... And so, we hear in Baltimore. 

We hear you.  We hear that it isn't okay that a populous lives in fear of those who should protect.  We hear that you're tired of living that way.  We hear that there needs to be change.  We hear that you don't know what else to do.

We hear you.

We also hear those of you who stand up defending the police, and who march singing hymns. We hear the rival gangs that have united to try to restore peace and show that not everyone is violent in their efforts to change the world. 

We hear you.

This hits me. I want desperately to ignite change. I don't know how.

Martin Luther King Jr said it beautifully, 
"It is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard."

We hear you...

Beauty is only...

Skin deep....? 

I think everyone has heard that.  I sorta hate it these days.

There is this struggle in society right now regarding bullying and body shaming.  It's sad.  I understand not being satisfied with your body to some degree.  I have always been overweight, and I've been working for the past two years to seriously change that. I don't want or care about six pack abs, I just want to be healthy.  I don't care how fast I run, I just like running. I don't cut out certain types of food, I just choose to eat smaller portions. 

All those things are great and I'm glad that I'm choosing to be healthier, however the physical changes don't make me feel beautiful. My husband doesn't find me more attractive because my waist is smaller.  

I'm beautiful because I'm compassionate, intelligent, a liberal, a feminist, diligent, outspoken... Because I'm me.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be healthy. You should. Because people love you and want you to stick around.

I am saying that changing your body doesn't make you beautiful. You already have that, you just have to learn to recognize it. 

For those who think it's okay to body shame. You suck at bring a person. Period. It's not your body, shut up. I don't care if you hate tattoos, piercings, short hair, beards, bald heads, fat people, skinny people, tall people or short people... I didn't ask you to do anything to your body, and unless I engage you in conversation on a regular basis, your opinion isn't wanted. You don't get to ruin my day because you feel it is necessary to be hateful.

Men don't have to look a certain way, women don't have to look a certain way. That would be incredibly boring. My thighs may always have dimples and my eyebrows thick. But I'm me and you are you and each of us is beautiful.

Seg·re·ga·tion

-the action or state of setting someone or something apart from other people or things or being set apart.-

Senate Bill 101 is not the first of it's kind... Sadly, it won't be the last, most likely. I don't know of all the others, I recognize that I probably should. I have heard that some of the states that do, also have laws protecting the civil rights of the LGBTQ community. So here's the thing, I do not understand how people are backing the law.  I do not understand, how, as a Christian, a person can stand up and say that a group of people offends me to the point I am not going to serve them. I don't understand how people can't see that this is terrible.

I've read the bill, if I'm correct in deciphering the legalese of it, it states that the government cannot "substantially burden" (interfere) with an "entity" (individual, business, organization) for acting on their religious beliefs.  If the government does interfere it has to do so in the least oppressive way.  So that's what I got out of it. I could be wrong, but for the purposes of this blog that's the understanding I have.

So if my "religious beliefs" were that black people shouldn't marry white people... I am free to deny them my services?

We aren't talking about not baking a penis cake in a wedding cake shop. If your business doesn't bake penis cakes, well then you don't bake penis cakes. But if you make wedding cakes... Well that's what you do. You do that for customers.  If I sent my wedding planner in to you and s/he did not inform you that the cake was for a gay couple, how would you know? Does that prospect offend you? Will you have a contract that everyone initials stating that they are not gay?

The general response that I keep seeing on social media is, "they can go to the cake shop down the street.". Do people hear themselves when they say that...? You sound someone from before the civil rights movement!  Or like a present day bigot. The blacks, oh I mean gays, can go to the coffee shop down the street.  They have the same coffee there, what's the problem?

I've been told that segregation doesn't exist.  It does, we are overly familiar with it in reference to race, but the word in itself is not specific to race. It makes us sound bigoted when we say we are okay with separating the LGBTQ community, or any community really.  And let's, be fair, we are not okay with being bigots in public.

I recognize that I'm aware of this problem because of the recent media buzz, I'm not proud that I wasn't involved before that. I am not, I'm not going to be quiet about it. I'm not going to pretend it will go away. If we continue to use religion to put a barrier between those who believe what we believe and those who don't, we have missed the boat.

I don't have an intimate knowledge of other religions. But I know that Christ regularly broke bread with prostitutes and thieves. I know that He said to love your neighbor as yourself. This doesn't seem very loving...

Camouflaged Agenda

As always, a little disclaimer to begin. I personally don't care if you or your family choose to hunt.  I don't understand calling it a sport.... Unless it's hunting where you are tracking and stalking.  But, I am well aware that people do it. The article referenced below states, rather sarcastically, that hunting makes a person better.  The full article can be read here...

http://jdheinerblog.com/2015/03/19/10-reasons-kids-should-not-hunt/

I would like to show that there are other ways to instill the same values just as effectively.

The author writes the following:

"Admittedly, I asked myself “why?” After much thought, I have come up with exactly 10 reasons why kids should NOT ever hunt in all its forms.

Hunting teaches kids how to provide. Really? What kid needs to learn how to provide? We are no longer cavemen or pioneers. Our kids are entitled not only to basic needs but to added comforts.

Hunting teaches kids how to be uncomfortable. What kid needs to learn the value of cold hands and blistered feet? Kids should never be expected to sleep on the ground. As an advanced society we are certainly above this. All the comforts of the world should be ours. Our time is best suited teaching our kids actual lessons of value like how to get something for nothing.

Hunting teaches kids how to stay fit. Good health is overrated.

Hunting teaches kids how to respect God’s creations. Who’s that guy anyway? Isn’t America’s prosperity the result of our own great minds? Aren’t those awe-inspiring hills and all that is in them a result of some big bang?

Hunting teaches kids how to prepare. Prepare for what?

Hunting teaches kids how to work. We live in a day and age where every one of our kids are entitled to a job despite their work ethic, reliability, prior training or education. To really spend the time teaching a kid to work would have been valuable maybe 52 1/2 years ago.

Hunting teaches kids how to survive. Survive what?

Hunting teaches kids how to conserve resources. Resources are plentiful. Do you really think they are going to run out? If the goal is to conserve, wouldn’t killing do just the opposite? Maybe PETA is on to something. Clearly hunting and conservation do not go hand in hand.

Hunting teaches kids how to solve problems. Problem solving is for the birds. The risk of encountering too many problems while hunting is real. Clearly my own attempt was chuck full of unnecessary problems. I should have known better than to leave my recliner and remote.

Hunting teaches kids how to have fun. To be honest the high-pitched shriek of kids laughing can be annoying. It is certainly counter intuitive to hunting. Perched behind the glow of their iPad in the darkest corner of the house their laughter and tears are only a distant squeal."

So my response?  The does not need to be the assumption that the ones of us who don't hunt have no bearings on how to instill values... We do...

Instilling a solid work ethic and moral compass in your child by investing time daily showing them what it takes to support your family will help them learn what providing for a family actually means.

Taking your child to serve in the mission field, feed the hungry, be the hands and feet of Jesus/Mohammed/Buddah/just an overall good person will show them that life is not always comfortable and that we should all strive to ease the suffering of others.

While we should never shame our children's bodies, having meaningful conversations about being healthy in our activities and eating is important. Model healthy choices in your own life and show your children how to stay fit on a daily basis.

Take your children to the state and national parks. Let them be immersed in the miracle of this world with every breath that they take. Teach them that this is our only home for the foreseeable future. Respect the world we have for what it has given.

Teach your child time management skills by setting a task to be completed before something else can be done. Teach them to prepare their tasks so that they are more efficient with time. Help them to understand that if you are going to ride our bike, there are steps we take to prepare for that.

Instill a work ethic in your child. It builds character. Make a chore chart. Pay the kid for a job well done. Teach your child that you get nothing for nothing and only something for, well, something. Work is part of life, teach them that by showing them that... Like daily.

So many people in our world would not survive without the creature comforts that we have. But many would. Plant a garden with your child. Show them how to harvest seeds. Show them how trapping works, fishing, and for all purposes yes, even how to properly fire a weapon if needed. Teach them how to scavenge, dress a wound, obtain clean water, start a fire.  Teach them how to follow the stars and the path of the sun. Teach them to LOVE... Otherwise why would they survive...

Our world is not endless.  Show them those without.  Show them that the lakes are low, show them where the forests once were. Plant a tree and have them watch how long it takes to grow and then how much it takes to make something. Show them that sometimes when things are gone... They are gone.  "Yes, Jane, you can have milk but that's all there is until Friday. Your choice. Would you like to save some for tomorrow?"

Parents are often those that rush to save their children.  Let them fall. Let them mess up. Ask, "what are you going to do to fix that?" Allow your children to solve some of their own problems. Be a resource not the repairman.

Make memories.  Ones that make you smile and ones that make them smile.  Some of my favorite memories of my childhood are from building things with my great aunt or working with granny in the garden. Have fun, get dirty, make a mess, clean it up.

All in all, I don't care if people want to hunt, but when it is written in a way that speaks down to another person, the points get lost amongst the irritation and snide remarks. 

Thanks for the blog material though.

Peace.

Peace

Something that we all enjoy but don't always have. At times we often feel that we may never have it. Due to one thing or another, it's always just being our reach.

Peace.

How do we get there? I will say that for us, it's been discovered in the most elusive place ever. I'm not one to get excited about diet fads or get rich quick scams. However, we did enroll in Dave Ramsey's class when our church offered it. And I will say that it is amazing. I didn't realize I was so stressed about our finances. But now that we are working together it's just amazing.

So step outside your box, look in interesting places, find your peace.

Unless someone like you...

Cares a whole awful lot....

Dr. Seuss was pretty amazing.  He doesn't say unless someone like you persecutes, withholds food, promotes inequality, allows injustice, denies healthcare, or permits children to be homeless.

.... It's not going to get better, it's not.

Sometimes I need a reminder that my voice, though not always appreciated, is necessary. Because there is an undeniable need for change.

Open letter to adult bullies...

Good afternoon,

I understand that you are insecure in some way or another. I understand that some of you do not even know that you are a bully. I understand that some of you were the victim at some point. I understand that some of you think this is the stupidest thing you have ever read. I also understand that the people I wish would read this... won't.

All that being said, I wish you would stop. I wish you could understand the damage you do. I wish that you were able to see that, even though you don't physically hurt someone, the scars remain. I wish that you would think before you speak. I wish that you would care about others to the point that being kind is your first priority. I wish you could see the pain you inflict on family members. I wish you could feel the spirits you crush. I wish you were never taught how to belittle others, because you were subjected to it yourself.  I wish you knew how to elevate others. I wish you knew how to celebrate differences.

I wish you would read this...

No more goody bags...

So my daughter, the fabulous L, will be resigning from the crazy birthday party club.  I don't want to do them anymore. And I am going to take a stab in the dark here and say neither does anyone else with children. I can hear you now, but I love to craft, bake, and spend money. Yeah, I do too. But I don't like to craft Disney stuff, and yeah I love cake… I make some amazing cupcakes… but I hate chocolate cake, oh yeah and that money, well our family is trying to get outta debt so filling goody bags with crap that will a) make your child's teeth rot or b) get lost in the floor of your car on the ride home which will end up resulting in a tearful tantrum because it was "the best" whatever it was, just isn't going to happen anymore. So now is your time to say thank you… So what is L possibly going to do since her horrible mom isn't putting on a show this year? Because, I can be honest and say I used to. We have had the following so far… 1: Zoo 2: Yo Gabba Gabba 3: Tinkerbelle 4: Rapunzel 5: Hawaiian and Pool Party (yeah folks we had 2) 6: Hawaiian Falls…

Enough… enough goodie bags, overspending, cakes that cost way too much and mommy downing almost an inappropriate amount of wine to stay sane.

So this year… my L will have a party, with friends, at the house. There will be a cake… from a box.  There will be fun… they will go outside…

And there will be an appropriate amount of wine. 

 

Spiritual Pep-Rally

Sunday rolls around and it's off we go.  Set up, practice, service, tear down, leave. There are classes, but none that really make me want to go. I used to lead one, but the topics weren't interesting.

I leave feeling connected to God. But I feel that way daily anyway.

I leave feeling glad to see people. But I feel that way daily anyway.

I leave knowing God loves me. But I feel that way daily anyway.

I also leave feeling unfulfilled and like I attended and hour of a pep rally. For a game that already happened and we won.  

I don't know if I'm the only who feels like that. Like church has become less about teaching and more about making people feel great. Which, let's be fair,  is all great, unless it's not.

I find that I feel more fulfilled in my spiritual conversations with others, than I do from attending service.

I find that I feel more connected to God feeding the hungry, than sitting through a sermon.

I find I am missing something.

I don't think my church is bad, oh I don't agree with everything. In fact, many times I very greatly disagree...

I do wonder if I am looking for something that the church can provide at this time, or if I need to look elsewhere for the teachings of equality and love.

I do wonder if I am out of line expecting that I hear about Ferguson, The Re-Frocking of a Pastor, or the church views on homosexuality. And then, if I am indeed out of line...

Do I want to be in line at all.